Komal
09 May, 2024
Table of Contents
“According to a recent National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) research, in 2021, there was a 20.6% suicide death rate per lakh (SDR) for men and an 8.1 SDR for women.” – Source: The Hindu
While depression is more common among women globally, males commit suicide at a greater rate. It demonstrates how males struggle to communicate their emotional demands and suffering, which contributes to problems like substance misuse and, ultimately, greater suicide rates.
But we don’t get to hear from men about their struggles, and especially about how are they coping with their daily lives. While we all hoist the flag of emotional evolution, we somehow would like to leave a few topics behind the curtain. One of these topics is men’s mental health and how they cope healthier for both their mental and physical well-being.
Is this all that the 21st century of wage, lifestyle and growth has to offer? No, there’s so much more to every one of our lives. In a society that has long celebrated men’s tenacity, the story of their mental health issues is changing. Though the stereotype of males as silent fighters continues to endure there is an evident shift in the plot. We are here to talk all about men’s mental health, stereotypes and support.
“I was told to man up and forget how I feel” a colleague at work when opening up about one the most tragic incidents in their family.
I asked, “What does that mean?”
He said, “Keep my feelings to myself and get to work”.
We all have heard the terms “Man-Up”, and “So what?” “Boys Don’t Cry” and “Be a Man”.
We all have heard these somewhere or the other, used or read them too, these sentences are more than just on the surface of helpfulness. When we tell one certain gender to man up, we send a message to “bottle up” their feelings.
“Masculinity expectations have many consequences, but perhaps most perniciously, they undermine men’s emotional flexibility and mental health” (see Wong et al., 2017).
This is more than just a stereotype. Bottling up emotions can lead to health degradation, anger frustration, and inability to express grief and joy.
“Masculinity stereotypes remain as rigid as ever, directly and indirectly restricting most men’s interest in, as well as access to, roles and behaviours that are stereotypically feminine. This includes avoiding showing weakness/vulnerability” (e.g., Berdahl et al., 2018)
As a part of society, we need to do better and share a space where we let men be. One of the biggest help would be through providing everyone to be expressive, supportive and vulnerable.
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later, in uglier ways” Sigmund Freud
As Freud stated above unexpressed emotions and their long-term effect on mental and physical health. The statement represents the impact of bottling up.
According to doctor and author Claudia M. Elsig, Doctor of Medicine (2022), this is how bottling up and suppressing emotions can degrade men’s mental health:
Contributes to Heart Disease
Triggers Chronic Stress
Weakens Immune System
Elevates Blood Pressure
Promotes Anxiety Disorders
Increases Risk of Depression
Leads to Substance Abuse
Heightens Aggression Levels
There are many options to support you emotionally and express how you feel. Men’s mental health includes uncomfortable conversations, vulnerability and expressing self. Remember, expressing your feelings only makes you a human. You don’t have to fight it alone. Asking for help would not only make you feel better but it would give you the strength to support yourself and become healthier.
Remember that the first step to breaking a cycle is to talk about it. Open up about your feelings in spaces where you feel safe and heard. Encourage other men who express their vulnerability too. By supporting others, we can break the stigma surrounding men’s mental health.
It’s okay to admit that you’re struggling, and it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not alone, and there are people who care about you, ready to listen without judgment. Together, we can redefine what it means to be strong and create a more compassionate world for everyone.
Here are 10 online therapy platforms where you can quickly connect :
Platform | Description | Link |
BetterHelp |
Licensed therapists, individual and couples counselling |
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Manastha |
Culturally sensitive online therapy |
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YourDOST |
Online therapy and counselling with various professionals |
|
ePsyClinic |
Online therapy and mental health support |
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Wysa |
AI-based chat therapy and professional support |
|
InnerHour |
Online therapy and wellness programmes |
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HopeQure |
Online therapy and wellness coaching |
|
TickTalkTo |
Online therapy and mental health support |
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MindPeers |
Therapy, mental health assessments, self-care |
|
TherapyMantra |
Wide range of online therapy and counselling services |
Don’t want to go in person to talk? No worries, you can text it.
There are many online chat-based therapy and counselling options available in India. These platforms are beyond the walls of gender stereotypes. They focus on talking about men’s mental health. You can easily text your counsellor tell them about your day, and how you are feeling and ask them about different coping strategies to ease stress.
Here are 13 mental health applications you should have handy:
App | Description | Link |
Cure.Fit (Mind.Fit) |
Offers yoga, meditation, and physical fitness for mental wellness. |
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Calm |
Guided meditation and sleep support with music and voiceovers. |
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Fitternity |
Fitness and diet plans, focusing on holistic health. |
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HeadSpace |
Meditation and mindfulness with guided sessions and health-related content. |
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Talkspace |
Online therapy with over 3,000 licensed therapists. |
|
wayForward |
Online counselling with personalised guidance and practical advice. |
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TalkLife |
An online community for people dealing with mental health issues. |
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YOURDost |
Online counselling and lifestyle coaching, with anonymity and accessibility. |
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Wysa |
AI-based chatbots for mental health support and mindfulness techniques. |
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Ginger Emotional Support |
Emotional support and self-care guidance. |
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Juno Clinic |
Online and face-to-face counselling with licensed professionals. |
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Being: My Mental Health Friend |
Self-therapy with music therapy and habit tracking. |
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InnerHour |
Personalised self-care plans, diaries, and self-help courses. |
There’s support available to you any time of the day or night. Whenever you feel that you want to talk to someone, you can connect to these organisation that works actively on providing mental health support.
Here are some of the best organisations for men’s mental health:
Organisation | Contact Information |
iCall |
Phone: 9152987821 Email: [email protected] |
Phone: 9999666555 |
|
Phone: 91-9999114141 |
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Samaritans Mumbai |
Phone: 8422984528, 842984528, 842984529 Email: [email protected] |
You can call them or send an email anytime from anywhere in India.
It’s okay to ask for help. It would not make you any less of a man. We go through phases in life where we need someone to listen to us, someone to make sense of our sufferings and most importantly someone to tell us how to grieve. We all have been through loss, stress, anxiety and neglectance some way or the other. But you don’t have to do it all alone.
There’s support available to all of us. If you are someone who feels ignored, neglected or unheard when you talk about your mental health, seek professional support, and join community groups, and support groups. When you don’t seek the support you express that you are not important and your concerns do not matter. Remember, there is always help available, you just need to ask.
Seeking professional support only when you feel completely discarded and lost is unnecessary.
You can connect with a therapist for anything related to your lifestyle, work, relationship or family issues. It does not have to be big or small, if you think you want to talk to someone about it, you can easily connect to a therapist or a counsellor by booking an appointment or on call.
But how do we know when it’s getting worse?
Here are the 10 common signs to know when to seek support:
Feeling sad or hopeless for a long time
Avoiding family and friends
Unexplained aches and pains
Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Drinking or using drugs more often
Getting angry or irritable easily
Feeling overwhelmed or helpless
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
Thoughts of self-harm or harming others
Trouble focusing or making decisions
When we talk about men’s mental health we need to remember that it is time to give up on the stigma of “Man-Up” or “Boys Don’t Cry”. We are all humans, who go through different emotions every day. Most importantly, we all feel the same set of emotions beyond genders and stereotypes. So the next time you feel you want to share something, feel free to reach out to any one of your friends who makes you feel safe. You don’t need to bottle it up. Do not suppress your emotions as they can lead to heightened heart disease, chronic stress, depression and anxiety. Remember, there’s help available to you. You are not alone. Resilience is not always the answer. Sometimes you need to let your guard down and feel your feelings. After all, this is what makes us more human.
Ans: Men’s mental health could be affected in different forms, increased use of substance abuse, inability to concentrate, frequent anger and irritation, and feeling hopeless.
Ans: Every gender is affected by mental illness and disorders. However, the stereotype against men’s mental health makes it difficult for them to talk about it which can lead to increased levels of depression, stress, anxiety, anger issues, and inability to feel joy.
Ans: There are many ways to engage men in mental health conversations. The first step is to make them feel safe and listened to during a conversation, let them know that it’s okay to feel vulnerable and lastly, ask them about how they would like to be supported professionally.